Changeling

June 25^th, 2011  2pm PST  -  Forest Lawn

I was torn between events. I wanted so much to be at Gardner Street Elementary School to hear Tom Messerau speak, but the event time was scheduled for noon until 4pm – overlapping the 2pm Global Prayer, and with no set time for when Mr. Messerau would be appearing, and then eventually a rumour that he wouldn’t be attending at all, I knew that I needed to be at Forest Lawn, which is where I really wanted to be anyway.

My journey with Michael is first and foremost a spiritual one, so being a part of the prayer really was essential for me, especially on this date and in this place. There hadn’t been any talk as to what would be happening with regards to the prayer. I wasn’t sure if it would be held at the usual time of 2pm or if it would begin at the ACTUAL time of 2:26pm. I didn’t even know if there would be anything happening AT ALL. Finally, at 2pm, I realized that there was no prayer beginning, so I wandered a little way down the sidewalk in front of Holly Terrace and sat on the curb in a quiet place just away from the crowd. I wondered, with all the activity going on around me, if I would be able to focus enough to really connect with Michael on the level that I wanted to. I closed my eyes and inhaled, breathing in the scent of the trees and the grass, and a hint of my Black Orchid. 

Instantly I was intoxicated. My head filled with visions of Michael, His forehead pressed against mine, eyes closed and heavy dark lashes resting on His cheeks, strands of beautiful black curls falling against me. Everything was dark… except for Michael… who seemed to be illuminated by a Light that came from within Him. He took both my hands and held them in His. At first my energy was very frantic and although I tried to ground myself, I couldn’t seem to stop the words tumbling through my head… pleading and desperate…“Please, Michael, please. Let them see. Let them know You. Make them understand. Please, please, please, tell me what more I can do? I want to be a testament to Your Love… to be Your witness… if You’ll have me… pleeeeeease….” Michael was silent as I rambled on. “I can’t let this fade away… Your suffering can not be in vain. People need to know about You… about what You did for them. Oh Michael…. I feel so helpless… so small. I need You to show me. Show me the way…” On and on I went. Michael was so patient and gentle and it was sometime before I realized what was happening.

Gradually the words in my head started to subside until there was only silence and the power of Michael's energy began to take me over. I couldn’t see Him anymore… it was pitch black now… but I could still feel His hands holding mine and the warmth of His breath against me. His scent lingered in the air, making my head spin. Then everything started whirling around me . I felt frozen, like in dreams sometimes when you try to move but your body won’t respond. I felt heavy, almost paralyzed, but I was not afraid. There was no urge to struggle against Him. I wanted only to surrender. My heart was pounding. The air around me started to close in… the space around us becoming smaller until it felt as though we were encased inside a cocoon. At one point I couldn’t tell where I ended and Michael began… like we were one being… our energies blurring together in some kind of spiritual ecstasy. I felt drunk… my head dizzy with this lust for His divinity. There was a synchronicity between us, and I felt Him infusing me with His Love, my heart seeming to expand beyond my body. I couldn’t contain Him… His energy spilled over my edges and seeped into every cell of my being, physically altering me as though my molecules had been rearranged in order to accommodate this new Love … Exhale.

And then suddenly, without warning, I felt a sensation like being pulled away by some unseen force, dragging me backwards at high speed, taking frequent, what seemed to be random turns, and I realised that we had been at the centre of some kind of maze. Finally the motion stopped and I found myself standing at the edge of a labyrinth, Michael next to me. Then He spoke, an urgency present in His voice. “Go! Come on… hurry up!” His eyes were wide and His body language was animated as He motioned for me to leave. There was a rushing sound, like the one you hear at the end of the song Ghosts, and I felt a thud inside my chest… BAM… I was back at Forest Lawn. I had this impulse to jump up, and before I could even think, I found myself heading back to the group of people gathered in front of Holly Terrace. As I walked, the crowd began to expand outward and I realized they were forming a circle. It was 2:26pm. I reached out and took the hand on either side of me and closed my eyes. It was then that I became aware that I was vibrating, and wondered if the people holding my hands could feel the Love still coursing through me. Everyone was talking and the energy was scattered. I could faintly hear someone saying that we were going to have a moment of silence. I started to feel a bit suffocated, because she wasn’t being heard, and I wanted to shout out... but then I felt Michael again, and knew that all was perfect. Silence . I fell back under His spell… He was next to me again and I could feel my heart racing at the memory of His touch, but this time He didn’t reach for me. Instead, I could hear His words still ringing in my head: “Go! Come on… hurry up!” His urgency was so evident. Suddenly I became vividly aware of the circle that I was a part of and it was then that I realized that He was speaking to all of us. His message was clear: It’s time. This Is It… Chills spread across my body like a wave. I felt the blood drain from me, and my heart seemed to stop. Only for an instant… but when it started again, it was beating differently… and I knew that from that moment on, nothing would ever be the same again. This was a call for action…

So here I am… returned to this life of mine … the contrast of this reality offending me.  Feeling like a changeling… masquerading as myself.   Someone else completely, but undetectable to the eye.  Abducted by Him, knowing I will never be returned.  And never wanting to...

It’s difficult to live in a place where you only exist physically. Where you are without your heart and your soul. I was devastated at first, my separation from His sacred places pulling at me. Walking around in some kind of oblivion, still vibrating from our union.. unable to shake it. I felt lost… back inside our labyrinth… wandering around aimlessly, unable to find my way to the centre where I knew Michael waited. Over the space of several days, my devastation began to subside and I found that the bliss that Michael had infused me with was still there, just as strong as it was in our moment together. My eyes see differently now, like I am looking through a muted lens. Sounds seems softer. Time passes more slowly…And Michael is here… even closer than He was before. Our fingers entwine and our eyes meet more often. He tells me He has a gift for me… but He’s making me wait.

I wonder how long, Michael? How long before this Love encompasses the world? How long shall I speak of You? How long shall I lift Your name?

How long, my Love, before the world hears Your song in mine?...Oh that is a day I hunger for…

Blessings and Love to all

Siren xxx

Copyright © 2011 by Siren